January 1, 2021 10:01 PM
I'm sitting here at 10:01 p.m. January 1st 2021. Thinking about what this next year could hold is terrifying to me. I went into 2020 thinking that I had complete control over what this year would hold. I had no idea. Obviously, God had other plans. When everything came crashing down in March, March 13th, I had no idea what to do.
I had a plan. I was going to work the rest of my semester. I got a job in January. I was going to finish out my sophomore year strong. I was going to go on an incredible senior trip with my brother and we were going to have a great time and bond so much and then I was going to be the drum major of the band and everything was going to be normal. Some of that did happen , don't get me wrong, I still bonded with my family, I still became the drum major. None of it happened the way I expected it to though and I think that's where a big issue rose for me.
I've always struggled with the idea of control. I would do anything I could just to have control over something if I couldn't control my family or my friends, I would control how much I ate and how much I worked out, if I couldn't control that, I would control anything else that I could just in hopes of grasping the sense of being in power and having total autonomy over my own life. Looking back I don't think that's healthy in any way. Looking back especially with the point of view of a child of the Lord I know that it's not possible. Right, so there's this idea that God has full power over everything, literally everything and I think that's something that is incredible and should rest in but at the same time it can be terrifying.
If you're like me and struggle with the idea that anything can happen to you at any point in time that you might not be able to predict or prepare for somebody having control over the situation is absolutely scary. But what I have found so much rest in and I want to encourage you in is knowing that the person who has control over your life is God. It's not some other human, it's not your mom, it's not your boyfriend or girlfriend, it's the Lord who created you specifically and intentionally for his will. It's not like he's going to just wing it on you. He's been doing this for thousands of years, he's created so many beautiful lives and everything is truly under his control. He is a good and gracious God whose full of love and mercies which were new every morning.
I pray that going to 2021 you just completely surrender every plan that you have to God. Ultimately his will is going to be done and that is good. Believe me when I say that it's good. He is perfect and His will for you is unlike any other plan that you can have for yourself and I know but surrendering control can be really difficult but as last year proved we cannot control anything so we might as well give it to God who is holding us and is unchanging and ultimately who wants to take it from us he wants to take our burdens.
Praying,
Addison Wimbish
